I go deep
by jodiexluvsxanime
Summary: I dived into the water, and I see freaky things. I know I'm not high, and I know I'm not dead... so WTF?
1. Chapter 1

**I got this idea when OI was swimming at my best friends house! SandralieneFaToren12 err... is that how you spell it? **

* * *

"CANNON BALL!" Some random boy screeches, jumping into the water.

I sheild my head as the water sprays my way.

"Hah, that was weak! I could do better!" I brush my black hair out my face again.

"Bring it, then!" He huffs.

"Miku!" My BFF, Tori crosses her arms. "Are you challenging strangers again?"

"Maaybe!" I laugh climbing up the ladder to the high dive. "Here I go!"

I jump off and tuck myself into a ball, "CANNON BAAALLLL!"

_SPLASH!_

I float underwater for a bit, swimming around.

I can't believe I forgot my goggles.

I open my eyes, everything was kinda blue, but I could see pretty well.

I almost _SCREAM_.

I see a guy wih blue skin and GILLS swimming in the water!

I kick my feet to push off, but fail horribly.

Now I was panicking to get back to the surface.

I gasp up air once I reach the surface.

"You look like a fish!" Tori laughs.

"Back to you!" I laugh doggy-paddling to the side wall.

I deciede not to tell her about what i saw, but keep a look out for him to surface.

He never came up.

"HEY! Hershy's!" This blonde girl, named Fawn, yells.

"Whaddya want? And don't call me that." I huff.

"But you look like one!"

"I do not, Hershy's are darker than me." I roll my eyes. "Now go away, and quit being racist. This is a PUBLIC pool."

"NO. I've come back for my rematch." She clenches her fists and stomps towards me.

"Ok, fine. I'll just beat yuor ass ag- HEY! Thats cheating!" I start trying to pull my arms free.

The little cheater had two of the biggest wrestlers hold me in place!

**[A/N: I SHALL SHOW NO VIOLENCE! ...mostly because i'm to lazy to do so.]**

**-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/**

They started carrying me to the lake, not to far from the pool.

"Hey little fishy." Fawn teases. "Time for a swim."

I glare and spit blood on her face, "You didn't even FIGHT." I croak.

"So?" She glares back, snapping her fingers.

Another punch to the stomach by one of those wrestlers.

"You little dipshit!" I hiss. "Learn to fight, then come talk to me."

"SHUT UP!" She yells. "Your getting mouth blood all over the place!"

"NO!"

She snaps her fingers again, which causes a blow to the jaw.

"Drop her boys, she's no fun." Fawn shrugs.

I start struggling to get away, to no avail, getting shoved head first into the drop off part of the lake.

I scramble to grab something- ANYTHING- to stop my plunge.

Which only manages to scratch my hands up.

I splash into the swirly, green water.

I squeeze my eyes shut and swim blindly to what i thought was the surface.

I was pretty surprised when my hand hit a rock.

WHich, BTW, HURTED LIKE HELL!

What also hurted was all my cuts in this salt water... and Sand?

I push off the heavily packed Sand and see 3 guys standing on the shore, almost arguing.

I doggy paddle weakly to shore.

_Maybe they can help me?_ I think, looking aruond curiously. _Maybe they can tell me WHERE THE FUCK I AM! _

I gather up all my left over strength and croak, "Hello?"

The 3 guys turn to stare at me.

"Where am I?" I croak again sitting on my knees tiredly.

"Who is she?" The black-haired guy asks.

"Who're you?" I snap back, gaining back some energy. "And where am i?"

"What happened to you, hm? Lose a fight?" The blonde teases.

"Fuck off." I grumble standing up all wobbily. "Forget it, you guys are no help..."

"Hey hey, hm." The blonde keeps me from moving.

I get a good look at his face and scream.

"Why the FUCK are you screaming, un!"

"OMFWG YOUR DEIDARA! YOUR NOT SPOSE TO BE REAL! AND EEEP YOUR ITACHI! OMG OMG OMG!" I run around in circles like the spaz I am. "AAAGHHH! AND YOUR KISAME~! OMG I'M IN A DIFFERNT UNIVERSE HEEEELP! AHHH!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, UN!" The blonde smacks my head.

"Owww..." I rub my head. "Agh! I gotta get outta here before I lose my mind!"

I dive back into the water and swim swim swim for my life.

My eyes fly open as I find myself on the shore of my normal lake.

I breathe a sigh of relief as I realize my surrondings.

I get up and walk home, soaking wet.

I massage my arm and thionk about what just happened.


	2. Chapter 2

"It's all in the name of... adventure?" I stare warily at my pool. "Yeah! adventure!"

"Miku! Come take your bath!" My stepmom calls out.

"Oh thank god," I wipe he non-existent sweat off my forehead. "Phew, now I don't have to do this."

I ditch the swimming pool and head for the bathroom.

I hang up the "Don't Disturb" sign and lay back in the tub.

* * *

I closed my eyes for ONE MINUTE and next thing I know, I'm being yelled at.

My eyes fly open for such a sight.

"Who are you and how'd you get in my bath tub!" Karin screams.

"Umm..." I sit up. "I;m Miku, nice to meet you too, and I have no idea."

"Whaddya mean you have no idea!"

"Well, one minute i was in MY bath tub at home, next POOF! I'm being yelled at in YOUR bath tub."

"Karin what're you doing in there?"

"I'm being held here aginst my will!" I call out jokingly.

"...WHoes that?"

"I'm Miku! I just got poofed into here!" I recognize the guy. "Sup, Sasuke."

"How'd you get in here,"

"I dunno."

"Karin, get her." Sasuke leaves real quick.

"Caaan I get some clothes?" I pout. "I'm not goin nywhere till I get some clothes!"

Karin contemplates this for a minute, then grabs her cloak off a hook on the wall.

"This is an article of clothing. Put it on."

I sigh and get out the bathtub, putting on the Akatsuki cloak.

I'm made to walk into a front room filled with Akatsuki members.

"Hey! That's that chick from before, un."

"That chick has a name!" I snap.

"What is it, un."

"Miku." I put my hands on my hips. "And I already know who you are, piss me off and your life will be a living hell."

"Shut the fuck up," Pein growls. "How'd you get in here."

"I, uh... I don't know." I shrug. "I was relaxing in my tub on minute, next I'm here."

"I don't believe you."

"Well I don't believe you!"

"Of?"

"...That your name is Pein?" I try.

"You make no sense."

"Your mom!"

"Kill her."

"AHHHHH!" I run for my life and get about 5 steps before someones in front of me.

I turn on my heel and accidently knock a vase over.

"What kinda S-ranked criminals have a vase?" I question. "Meh. Guess it dosen't matter since I broke it."

I stare warily at there fish tank.

"Hmm, this better work..." I grumble, running for it.

"What the hell?" Kisame raises his eye brow.

I dive into the fish tank head first.

* * *

I find myself in the pet shop back in my town.

I scramble out the tank, gasping for air.

"Ok, now I know this is real." I mutter. "And now... I must prepare!"

I dash out the shop, still in my Akatsuki attire.

I climb through the window to get back into the bathroom.

"MIKU! GET OUT THE DAMN TUB!" My mom screams.

"Ok! ok!" I rush out the door, forgetting to let the water out.

"What took you so long? You were in there for hours!" My mom questions.

"I fell asleep."

"WHAT!"

"Uh-huh." I go to my room and look through my collections, of which my mom calls junk.

I pull out my ninja pouch that I bought on amazon, and fill it with my collection of fancy knives and actual ninja throwing stars!

I used my evil stepmoms credit card to buy all of it.

I strap the pouch on, then grab my water-proof backpack.

I fill it with my cellphone, my laptop, my Ipod, and my lucky Teddy bear.

I put that on, then slide the borrowed cloak back on.

"Hey mom! I'm going to a friends house ok!" I call out.

"Ok!" She calls back.

I postion myself to land in our pool, then take a deep breath.

I was always afraid of heights.

I push myself out the window and free fall towards the pool.

"AHHh! OMG AHHH!" I can't help but to scream.

I splash into the pool and... things suddenly get really hot.

I resurface and find myself in a hot spring.

With other people in it.

"Awww shit-cakes, I had to land with the akatsuki, didn't I?" I mutter. "Uh... Nice weather we're having, huh?"

I just get glares as I crawl out the hot spring.

There were Sasuke, Itachi, and Suigetsu.

AHHH! SEXY OVERLOAD!

I walk backwards, facing them the whole time.

I bump into someone, and a knife is held up to my neck.

I scream bloody murder and start trying to get free.

"Stop moving before you kill yourself." The voice growls.

Of course, that just makes me scream louder, "HEELP! I DUN WANNA DIE! THERE'S SO MUCH I WANNA DO! SO MANY PEOPLE I NEED TO HURT! MUCH MORE PEOPLE I NEED TO FUCK! SOMEONE HEEEELP!"

A hand goes over my mouth, cutting my cies for help short.

"MMMMMFFFF!"

I'm carried back to the base where I'm tied up and questioned.

"How are you getting here." Pein questions.

"Well... it seems to happen whenever I'm in water." I deciede to be a good girl. "And since I didn't expect to land here, I kept doing it."

"How do you do it."

"I dunno. It just happens."

"..."

"Can I be a member?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because your weak."

"AM NOT!"

"And your very childish."

"AM NOT! I'D BE A BETTER MEMBER THAN ANY OF YOU CAUSE I KNOW EVERYONES SECRETS!" I announce. "Mhm! I said it, watch yourself or your secret just might slip!"

Things go ddeadly silent.

"Your lying." Pein finally says.

"Kick everyone out and I'll prove it to you." I state. "Wouldn't wanna kill my blackmail."

Pein shooes everyone out, then turns to me. "Well?"

"Hmm. Your real name is Nagato. Itachi wasn't the only one who killed the Uchiha clan, Madara helped and Madara is Tobi in disguise! Hmmmm, Deidara's suicidal and should see a therapist, Naruto shall soon become a sage! A kick butt sage!"

"..."

"You want more?"

"How would you be useful to me?"

"I can cook, I can teach, I can teleport through water, I can fight, I can sing, I can defend myself, I can eat, I can sleep, I can sleep-fight and sleep-walk, and I can swim."

"Hmm..."

"I can sneak, I can spy, I can-"

"Ok, enough!"

"And I can threaten and blackmail." I finish.


	3. Chapter 3

"And then I was like, I no you didn't! And she was like, oh yes i DID! And then I grabbed on of thsoe Socker-Bopper things and we started punching each other with them!"

Itachi stares at me, not really listening.

"And then we endnded up in the spot with all the motorized mini-cars for kids! So we each grabbed one and grabbed a noodle and jousted for a good 10 minutes!"

"Does this story have an end?" Hidan interupts.

"And then, the Toys R Us gaurs kicked us out for destroying property, even thought nothing was broken! I came back the next day disguised as Beast Boy from teen Titans cause I had to get the birthdfay present for my best friends cousin! I got distracted by all the Try-Me toys and the gaurds were just watching me extra carefully! Then that chick from yesterday came and was all like, Aren't you a little old to be playing with toys? So then, we satrted fighing AGAIN. And this time, they put up wanted posters of me and the other chick! And we started fighting in the parking lot!"

"WAIT. Hold on a second, un." Deidara stops me. "Was this the same chick that threw you in the lake, un?"

"Yes."

"OK, continue."

"And she was all mad cause I won and stuff! She's all... It's hard to describe."

"So are you and her like, arch-enemies?" Karin asks.

"Well... it's more than that... How can I describe it? It's like, more than a Deidara vs. Tobi kinda thing, but less than a... Kakuzu and anyone taking his money kinda thing."

"Wow. How'd it start?"

"Well, we used to be friends, but then middle school came and we became more irratible and then we staretd fighitng and then this happened. It started off as a battle and became a war!"

"How's this girl like?" Hidan asks.

"Prissy... Frilly... Wanna-be cheerleader... Needy... Kinda like Sakura except focused on becoming prom Queen."

Hidan shudders, "Never mind."

I laugh at this, then some weird thoughts fill my head.

_I am just... To at EASE with this... What about my mom? She thinks I've gone crazy! And well... I don't think Madara really wants me here. Pein doesen't mind me as long as I leave him alone... but Madara... Sheesh. I've been recieving death glares from him! Note to self: Watch your back._

"Hey! Hey, girl! Quit thinking and tell us more stories!" Kisame snaps me out of my thoughts.

"This girl has a name!"

"Which is?"

"Miku."

"Ok, _Miku _tell us more stories!"

"What're you? A bunch of 5 year olds?" I snap. "I'm fresh out of stories! I basically just told you my life story!"

**"We want more stories." **Half the Akatsuki growl at me.

"God! OK! Lemme think of one!" I search my mind for any fairy tails I could remember off the back. "I know! I'll tell you the story of Rapunzel! NO! _Deidara."_

Deidara shoots me a glare of doom.

"A long time ago, a husband named..." I look around. "Pein and a wife named... Konan lived happily in a cottage at the edge of the woods! Yeah... This is coming along nicely... But one day, Konan go really sick! She couldn't eat anything and got thinner and thinner! The only thing that could cure her was a magical golden flower! Later on that night, the evil witch... Orochimaru-"

This gets some laughs.

"-was singing to the flower to become much much younger looking! UM... Then, she heard Konoha ninja's coming so he ran off, forgetting to cover up the flower! The gaurds took the flower and made it into a yummy soup! Konan drank it allll up! A year later,a baby girl was born and they named her... er... him Deidara! Orochimaru soon stole the baby for her powers! Deidara had magical glowing hair that healed age! Orochimaru locked Deidara up in a bueatiful tower that had no stairs! Years passed and Deidara's hair got longer and longer until eventually she-er, he was tripping over it. Ororchimaru wouldn't allow him to cut it! Every few months, Orochimaru would brush Deidara's hair while he sung the magical song! ONe day, Orochimaru had to leave and go hunt down little boys! Hehehehhehe."

"Didn't he really do that on occasion?" Kisame whispers to Sasori.

"A handsome red-haired prince was walking and he came upon the large tower, staring at the beautiful maiden leaning boredly in the window sill. Or so he thought. He heard of the bounty to find the princess-"

"AHEM." Deidara glares at me.

"PRINCE and called up to him, 'Deidara! Deidara! Let down your hair!' Deidara did so and the prince climbed up her-HIS hair and greeted her formally. Deidara was ecstatic, 'Oh prince! You have come to save me! May I ask your name?"

Snickers started erupting from the Akatsuki.

"The prince smirked, 'Mine name is, Sasori Akasuna-"

I have to wait for my little criminals to quiet down before continuing.

"-And I am here to rescue you my fair maiden!' So, Sasori the prince picked up Deidara bridal-style, hopped onto the magical Pegasus pony, and flew off to get married in... Gaybabyville."

The Akatsuki burst out laughing like little kids(ya know, excet for Deidara and Sasori) and yell for more stories.

"No! I need dinner first!" I whine.

**"Story. NOW. Or YOUR gonna be dinner," **Zetsu growls.

I sigh in defeat, "OK.. um... I'm gonna tell the story of the three little pigs!"

"Aww, a normal story?" Suigetsu complains.

"Hush." I wave my hand at him. "Once upon a time, there were three piggy-brothers... um... Hidan... Tobi... and Suigetsu."

There's a few complaints.

"They each wanted their own house so they built each for themselves. Hidan made his house of straw, Suigetsu made his house of... sticks, and Tobi's house made of brick. There was a hungry wolf named... Naruto-"

"Why Naruto?" Konan interupts. "He's a fox?"

"Well... His elemant is wind and a fox is close enough!"

"But then, shouldn't you change the story to a fox?"

"Fine." I huff. "A hungry FOX named Naruto heard about this, he stared at the three houses. 'Ok, who made their house of straw? They're getting eaten first.' He marched over to the houe of straw and knocke don the door, "Hey Hidan, let me come in!' Hidan glared at Naruto from the window, 'No way,' He growled. 'No go away before I sacrfice you to Jashin-sama.' Naruto glared back and went all Kyubii-mode, 'Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll bloooow your house down!' Hidan ran to Suigetsu's house and hid inside."

"Wait, why do I get the hosue of straw?" Hidan grumbles.

"Because I said so."

"Mean."

"So Naruto dashed to Suigetsu's house and banged on the door, "Hey hey hey! Let me in!' Suigetsu stared out the window, 'Not in your lifetime.' Naruto glares, 'Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll BLOW your house DOWN!  
Suigetsu and Hidan ran to Tobi's house, the eldest brother and stayed inside to watch naruto yell nonsense about getting Sasuke back... He moves on to Tobi's house of bricks. 'Little boy! Hey Tobi! Let me come in?' Naruto looks in the window. Tobi looks back, 'No way. I don't talk to weirdo's!'  
Naruto roars, "THENN I'LL HUFF! AND I'LL PUFF! AND I'LL BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN!' Naruto tries three times, but it still dosen't work.  
Hidan and Suigetsu flip him off and make funny faces.  
'LITTLE BASTARDS!' Naruto roars, banging on the door. 'LET ME IN!'  
Tobi uses to phone to call some one while Suigetsu and Hidan hold the door closed.  
Naruto then gets shot with a tranquilizer dart, and he falls asleep on the ground.  
Pein comes up and drags Naruto off, 'He does this everyday.' He mutters. 'When will he learn?'  
THE END!"

Everyone was laghing by then, even the people in the story.

"Damn 5 year olds." I grumble. "And speaking of Pein, where is he?"

They pay no attention.

"Can I get some food now?"

"Yes." Deiara and Karin and Konan chime, going to the kitchen.

"Meanwhile, I'm gonna go get a story book." I stand up, stretching my legs.

I walk to the front door and open it, hearing a faint crying.

"Eh?" I listen nice and hard, trying to follow the sound.

When I find the source I stare in total shock.

Laying wrapped up in a blanket was a carrot topped baby with blue eyes.

I pick it up, forgetting all about the book store, "It's ok baby... Don't cry."

As I take it inside, the baby slowly quiets down.

"What's with the baby?" Jugo questions, uncertainly.

"I found it! Isn't he adorable? Can we keep him! PLease? Please? PLease?" I plead.

"Go ask Pein." Everyone chimes.

"OK!" I skip around the base, unable to find him at all.

I come back to the living room, "He said yes!" I lie.

Tobi stares at me unsurely, "Can I see the baby, Miku-chan?"

"Nope." I click my tounge and get some money from Kakuzu.

"Why not?"

"Cause, I'm going shopping right now."

"Can Tobi come with you?"

"Fine." I sigh.

"Oh! Here's your sandwhich!" Karin hands me this big ass sandwhich.

"Woah... thanks!" I give the baby to Tobi and enjoy my sandwhich. "Let's go Tobi-sama!"

"Sama?" Everyone questions.

"I mean... Sempai. I got confused!" I cover up.

"Ohh." They nod.

* * *

At the store, we get the bay stuff we need.

"How old do you think it is?" Tobi pokes the sleeping baby, now in my hands again.

"It looks like a newborn." I shrug. "And don't poke it, you'll wake it up."

"Why do you keep calling him and it?"

"Cause I don't know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"It's a boy." Tobi announces.

"How do YOU know?"

"Tobi knows these kinds of things!"

"OK... I'll let it drop." I sigh. "But... can it eat formula?"

"Probably?"

"Oh! And grab one of those fairy tale books for me!" I remember. "That's gonna be reaaally important."

"He needs a name." Tobi mutters, grabbing a thick fairy tale book.

"Saki." I say almost immediatly.

Staaare.

"What?"

"That was fast?"

"I've been thinking of a name ever since I found him, knowing the gender narrowed it down!" I huff, protectively.

"Awww, what a cute baby!" A voice from behind me coos. "Is it yours?"

I whip around and stare at... Sakura and Ino.

"Um, yes! It's mine!" I laugh nervously.

"But his hair! It's orange?"

"Mine is too." I mutter. "His is just lighter, cause you know, he's a baby."

"Aww, isn't he just adorable?" Ino waves at him. "What's his name?"

"Saki."

"And that's the father?" Sakura points at Tobi.

"Oh my god." I go hide in behind the childs section. "Why just assume that!"

"Hehehe, sorry!" Sakura laughs nervously this time. "I just figured, you know, since he was here and all."

"It's ok." I come out from my emo corner. "But no, he's just a friend of mine."

"Where's the dad?"

"Dead." I say out of nowhere.

Oh shit. Why did I say that?

"Aww! That's so sad!" Ino gets watery eyes.

"It's really... not that bad. I have... um... family to help take care of him."

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto calls out. "Oh! Cute baby! Is it yours?"

"Yes." I turn on my heel. "And now we must leave!"

That was sooo embarrising!

Tobi keeps teasing me about it too!


	4. Chapter 4

When we got back to the base, all focus was on the baby.

"What's his name, un?"

"Saki."

"He looks knida like you ya know?" Suigetsu points out. "The skin color just isn't right."

"Uh-huh, well it isn't MINE mine, I found it and claimed it."

"Where's he gonna sleep?" Kisame questions.

"In my room if you guys would give me one." I retort.

Things go quiet for a few minutes.

"You could have the attic," Konan finally says. "We don't put anything in there and it's very spacious."

"Does it have a window?" I question.

"Yes."

"Deal!"

Everyone helps fix the attic up so me and the baby could room in it.

We painted it blue, dusted it clean, got rid of the bugs, put things in order, and other stuff the baby would use.

"Well Saki... Welcome to your new home!" I giggle.

We head downstairs as a zombie-looking Pein stumbles through the doorway.

He and the baby lock eyes.

"What is that." He growls.

"This is Saki," I explain. "He's my baby!"

I hear snickers.

"Oh yeah! Real mature!" I snap back at them.

"Let me see him." Pein steps forward, a mencaing aura around him.

"No." I step back and hold the baby defensively.

"Miku."

"I said no. Saki dosen't like you. Your being to scary right now." I glare.

He takes another step forward, closing the gap between us.

"Hand over the baby."

I catiously hand Saki over, watching Pein carefully.

Pein looks him over carefully, "...We... We can keep him."

"I would've kept it anyways." I scoff.

Pein gives me back Saki and I pause to stare between him and Saki.

"What're you staring at." He snaps.

"You are NOT going to the store with me." I say out of the blue. "You and the baby look to much alike."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Ask Tobi." I walk off. "I'm going to bed."

* * *

I'm woken up in the middle of the night by the baby crying.

I sit up and yawn, looking around the attic tiredly.

I pick up Saki and quiet him down, and make him a warm bottle.

He stares at it distastefully, and wouldn't opens his mouth.

"Are you hungry or not?" I huff.

Saki stares at the bottle for a few minutes more, before finally opening his mouth.

He finishes off 3 bottles before falling back asleep.

I set him in the crib and lay back down, exaushted.

I'm never having kids.

* * *

I wake up with a new goal in the morning.

To be the best damn ninja ever.

Saki woke up a little bit before me, so I picked him up and put him in some blue footsie pajama's, made a bottle, and went downstairs for breakfast.

"Morning, Miku!" Everyone chimes.

I laugh, "You guys are way to used to me!"

They shrug with smirks on their face.

I sit and wait while Konan made pancakes and bacon.

"Hey guys..." I say unsurely. "Could you... I was wondering if..."

How do I say something like that to a bunch of S-ranked criminals without being laughed at?

There's no possible way.

"I wanna be a ninja!" I blurt.

5 second pause, then they burst out laughing.

"Stop lauhging! I'm serious!"

Still laughing.

I drop my head down on the table.

"That'd be a horrible idea." Pein comments. "You have a baby, another life in a whole other world, and... you don't have the right build to be a ninja."

"What's that spose to mean?"

"You don't have the right body type to be a ninja."

...

"Oh so, I can't be a ninja cause I'm a _girl_?" I question.

"I never said that."

"You _implied _it."

Konan joins the conversation, "Well, if there's nothing wrong with her. She can be a ninja."

"Sakura can be a ninja, but not me?" I grumble. "That's so unfair."

"I'm leaving this conversation." Pein grumbles.

"Don't worry, we'll train you the best we can!" Kisame chuckles.

"Just don't kill me! ...Or rape me! ...Or ditch me in the middle of nowhere!"

"ONly 3 rules, un? I can deal with that." Deidara mutters.

"I can promise on 2 of those rules." Hidan teases.

"Wait! What's that suppose to mean!" I get all flustered.

Lol... flustered...

"Konan, can you watch the baby while I train?" I plead.

"Sure, why not?" Konan takes Saki and the bottle and leaves. "Pancakes are ready."

I knock everyone out the way and grab like, 3 pancakes and 5 pieces of bacon.

Everyone stares at me in pure shock, since little old me basically foot ball tackled them all to the ground.

"So, who wants to train with me first?" I say between bites.

There's a lot of arguing, paying, and fighting before Tobi tires of it.

"Tobi will!" He grabs my hand and leads me out.

"OK Tobi-sempai! What're we doing first?" I get all hyped up.

This is gonna be good.

* * *

I stumble back into the kitchen where everyone had gathered to see how training went.

They just stared.

And stared.

And stared.

"What happened to you?" Karin chuckles.

"I told Tobi not to go easy on me, and this is what happened." I shrug.

I had ash all over my face, my clothes were slightly ripped, my hair was all over the place, my right eye was covered by a bandage because of I stupid head injury and ear injury, I lost a tooth(it was already loose, so don't worry I won't be some toothless wonder), and I had a black eye along with various bruises.

"NOw! Time for food!" I make myself an Akatsuki Sandwhich* and enjoy myself. "On a brighter note, I can do Taijitsu now!"

"Do you even have chakra?" Itachi says.

"Holy crap! That's the first time I heard you spoke!" I stare in awe. "And yeah, Tobi said I had chakra. No much, but it's there."

"Weeeiiird..." Hidan comments.

"Ooooo Weeeee Ooooo." I make that alien noise in creepy movies to make it more dramatic.

* * *

***Akatsuki Sandwhich: A sandwhich that has 2 layers. The first layer containing the condoments and the second layer containing lettuce, tomato, cheese, etc, etc. It's very yummy, and very big.**

**Cool, my first authors note... Does anyone even read these? IDK. Do you? Review! Click that button!**

**CLICK THIS BUTTON RIGHT HERE!**

**|  
****I  
I  
V **


	5. Chapter 5

Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE Linkin Park?

Well I do! And the Akatsuki were staring at me while I sung...

Bastards! Don't they have anything else better to do, other than to STARE?

"What are you singing?" Kisame finally asks.

"Papercut, by Linkin park is what I'm gonna sing _next_." I retort.

"**_Why does it feel like night today?_**  
**_Something in here's not right today._**  
**_Why am I so uptight today?_**  
**_Paranoia's all I got left_**  
**_I don't know what stressed me first_**  
**_Or how the pressure was fed_**  
**_But I know just what it feels like_**  
**_To have a voice in the back of my head_**  
**_Like a face that I hold inside_**  
**_A face that awakes when I close my eyes_**  
**_A face watches every time I lie_**  
**_A face that laughs every time I fall_**  
**_(And watches everything)"_**

**__**"What a weird song," Itachi comments.

"Le gasp! He talked!" I point. "AGAIN!"

Baby crying... I've become to used to the sounds.

What I'm not used to is seeing Pein holding Saki UPSIDE DOWN.

"HEY! Don't you know how to hold a baby!" I exclaim, snatching Saki away. "God!"

Pein shoots me a glare, "Since when did you have a baby?"

"Since..." I think for a good answer. "Since I came to the Naruto world!"

"So your a ninja... with a baby?"

"Yes."

"Let's see how this goes."

"EH! What's that spose to mean?" I exclaim.

"What about your other world?" Kakuzu brings up.

"You had to remind me?" I rack my brain for answers. "I could always fake my death... Or pretend to get kidnapped... Yeah... I'll go wih the latter."

"Your gonna fake a kidnapping?"

"Yes, can you be my kidnapper?"

"Ask right, then maybe I'll say yes."

I grab a knife and get on one knee, "Well, Kakuzu. Will you be my kidnapper?"

Kakuzu chuckles, "Sure, but you gotta pay me."

"Deal!" I spring to my feet and give him the knife. "Let's go! You guys got a lake near by?"

"Why a lake?" Kisame glances up form the paper.

"Because there's a lake near my hosue."

* * *

We pop up at the shore of the lake, soaked.

"This water traveling is _not _fun." I grumble, shaking out my hair.

"Your telling me." Kakuzu rolls his eyes. "Now where's your house."

* * *

I si tin my room, continuing my singing of Linkin Park.

**"So I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is hearing me  
Right beneath my skin  
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin!"**

"Great. She's singing that weird music again..." My older sister grumbles.

I sing even louder, **"It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin"**

****I fake a scream as Kakuzu comes crashing through my window, "MOM!"

"SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!" My sister screeches.

Kakuzu drags me out the window and runs into the forest.

"Hahahah! That was fuuun!" I cheer.

* * *

Once back at the house, I explain what happened, fed Saki a bottle, and went to bed.

But did I get a good nights sleep?

Nope.

Something was wrong with Saki.

"Saaakiii! Whaaat?" I whine, picking him up and bouncing him. "Let's go on a walk so the others don't wake up..."

I walk through the woods with a flashlight in one hand and Saki in the other.

"See? You ok now?" I whisper. "Can we go home and go to sleep now?"

Saki stares at me for the longest time, then nods happily.

"Woah.. Can babies nod?" I mutter, walking back to the base. "Probably. This one can hold his head up already."

I wander around until the sun came up, lost.

"Saki... you wouldn't happen to know the way back to the base?" I say, switching off the flashlight.

AS if answering my question, I hear a near-by explosion.

I run straight to it(which most people wouldn't do) and greet Deidara, "Sup Dei-chan!"

"Don't call me that, un!" He warns.

"Why nooooot?"

"Cause I said so, un."

"What's for breakfast?" I change the subject. "And how do you make coffee?"

"You... You can't make coffee, un?"

"Nope. Never understood it."

Deidara leads me into the kitchen and shows me how to use to coffee maker.

"Then you just add milk and sugar, un until it's good enough."

I nod and wait for my mug to fill up.

"C'mon... fill up faster... Stupid mug!"

I pull out the mug once it's half full, and pour milk until it's full.

I then add a bunch of sugar and take a sip.

"Mmmm, yummy..." I coo. "This stuff is heaven!"

I go sit in the living room and drink my coffee while Saki slept.

What made me pick up this baby? What made me keep it?

I should've just dropped it off in the nearest village, or even left it there for someone else to find.

What is wrong with me?

Ugh... I feel like hat show 16 and pregnant, except I'm 14... and I didn't have the baby.

Oh well, you know what I mean.

"Hey! Miku-chan, time to train!" Kisame chuckles. "Let's go!"

"Yeah yeah yeah!" I leave Saki with Konan, and run to keep up with Kisame's fast pace.

Training is tiring... But Imma be the best ninja ever! I swear!

**_6 Years Later..._**

**__**"Saki!" I look inside closets and under tables. "Come on out Saki!"

I hear a soft giggle.

"Gotcha!" I grab his foot and drag him out from under the cabnets. "C'mon!"

"Moom!" He whines.

"Nope, your taking a bath! Your dirty!"

"I am not!"

"You so are!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yu-huh!"

Saki could walk... and talk... and curse... and fight!

As I wash the dirt out his hair, he starts interrogating me.

"Why don't I look like you?" He questions.

"First off, your a boy. Second, we have the same hair color."

"OH yeah..." He looks up at me. "Where's my dad."

Shit.

"Um... uh... You don't have.. one."

"Then how was I born? Hidan says you need a mom and dad to be born."

"Hidan's a liar, honey... and well... I didn't actually give birth to you."

"Hm?"

"I kinda... found you."

"...Oh..."

Things grow silent and get reeaaalllly awkward...

"Where'd you find me?"

"At... the front door..."

"The front door?"

"Yeah... I was going to the store to get a story book for these sad excuses for S-ranked criminals."

He laughs at this.

"Mom, how old are you?"

"I'm... 18..."

**[a/n: Just go with it. People age slower in the Naruto world.]**

"oh cool! Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"Sadly, no... And where ar eyou getting this stuff from!" I huff, splashing him.

Well, that wasn't a good idea.

It starts an all out splash war.

* * *

We exit the bathroom, I was more wet than he was, and he was taking the damn bath!

Ah well...

But now that I think about it... Saki looks REALLY familiar.


	6. Chapter 6

Something just not right today...

Me, Saki, and Tobi went on a walk through the nearest village whoes name escapes me.

"STRANGER DANGER!" An all to familiar voice screams.

"PLease stop screaming! People are staring!" Another familiar voice.

"HELP! I'M LOOOST!"

"Stop screaming!"

"I PRAY TO THE GHOST OF MIKU THAT I'M NOT IN A WHORE HOUSE!"

"We're not even in a house!"

I walk up to the two girls, "The ghost of _who_?"

Things get eerily quiet.

"MIKU!"

My friends wheigh a lot together.

So when they both deceided to glomp me, I fell to the ground!

"Ack! Get off!" I push them off. "So heavy!"

"Where have you been!" Tori hisses.

"Where are we?" Kristen questions.

"Why are you dressed like that!"

"Mommy?" Saki waves at the three of us. "WHo are those people?"

**"_Mommy!_" **My two friends scream.

"I obviously have some explaining to do..." I mutter. "So how did you guys get here?"

"My science project exploded..." Tori.

"Big wind storm." Kristen.

"I dived in my pool!" I laugh. "And this is Tobi!"

"Hi!" Tobi waves ecstaticaly. "Are you Miku-chan's friends?"

Tori was in awe struck, "T-Tobi... as in... NARUTO Tobi?"

"Uh-huh." I nod.

"OMG! WE'RE IN CRAZY LAND!"

"That's right now stop yelling!"

So, all of us walk home while I explain what happened.

"Awww, Saki is adorable!" Tori squeals.

Saki blushes and hides behind me.

"And he looks so much like you!"

"And Leader!" Tobi chimes Oh-So-Helpfully.

"OOOO!" Kristen points. "You did NOT find that child!"

"OH shut up! I did find him! Now shut up before I ditch you with the wolves!" I throw rocks at her.

"Run awaaaayy!" Kristen runs ahead of everyone.

_SMACK._

__I stare as she runs straight into the base.

"OWWW! IT BUUURNS!" Kristen screams.

"It looked like it burned..." Tori mutters.

I pull her to her feet and lead the two through the base, Saki trailing close behind.

"Leader," I knock on the door. "Can I come in?"

"Enter." He deadpans.

I enter with the usual eye roll, "Still doing work, eh?"

"WHo are they." He glares at me.

"My friends. They need a spot to stay."

Pein rises, a good 5 inches taller than me, "First you bring a baby. Now you bring your friends? NO."

"WHYYYYY!"

"CAUSE YOUR A BRAT!"

"I'M NOT A BRAT! I'M HOSPITABLE!"

"I'm not spending ANY extra money on you free-loaders and your "needs" anymore!"

"What? A girl needs her ice cream..." I mutter.

"No."

"What if they could make you some money?"

"How."

"Two words: Fake. Whores."

"Explain."

"Sell them to some place that takes whores, then they escape."

"Miku!" Tori hisses. "That's fucked up!"

"Fine." Pein glares. "They may stay and be sold as fake whores."

"WOOHOO!" Kristen cheers.

* * *

**Weeks Later...**

"Who would've thought?" Tori chuckles. "Miku being a mother! What a laugh!"

"OH shut up!" I throw my shoe at her. "I'm a wonderful mom!"

"I bet your one of those agresive soccer moms!"

There goes my other shoe.

"Dinner Time!" Kisame chimes.

"OH god, no." Saki mimes barfing.

"What'd you make, Kisame-kun!" Kristen giggles.

"Kiss up." I grumble.

I take a seat at the table and force a variety of fish into my mouth.

"Whoes turn is it to cook tommorrow?" I whine.

"Hn." Itachi grumbles.

"What? WHy me?"

"Hn."

"Well yeah... You wanna switch?"

"Hn."

"Fine."

Kristen and Tori give me looks of bewilderment yet again.

"You... You speak the Hn language!" Kristen gasps.

"Yeah, I guess so." I shrug.

"Where has fangirl you gone!" Tori exclaims.

"Oh it's still there, but I need more variety."

:"Ohhhh."

We eat dinner in peace for once, then sart playing Poker.

"Kakuzuz! I swear, your CHEATING." I hiss.

"Nope, I just have skills." Kakuzu says smugly.

"Hn." Itachi adds.

Tori just stares(Kristen was watching TV), "Excuse me?"

"He said, Miku sucks at poker." Kisame translates.

"I wanna try the Hn language..." Tori muters. "Hn."

I gasp, "You kiss your mother with that mouth!"

She blushes, "HN!"

"You did WHAT with Sasuke?" Itachi speaks(one of those rare occasions).

"Huh?" Tori facepalms. "Hn?"

"I'm having a nice day, thanks for asking." Kakuzu chuckles.

"Hn." Tori says boredly.

"That's mean, Tori." I mutter. "I'm not that bad at Poker."

She gives up and clonks her head down on the table.

I laugh at her and keep failing at poker.

* * *

"I QUIT!" I throw my cards down and sotmp away from the Poker game.

"Sore loser." Kisame chuckles.

"SHut up!"

I go to my now shared room to catch some Z's.

"I can't believe you played Poker till Midnight." Kristen yawns.

"I got a little better... but I still lost." I whisper.

"Granpa-Kuzu was cheating." Saki mutters on the brim of sleep. "Had cards under the table..."

"WHAT!" I screech.


	7. Chapter 7

_**3 months later...**_

_****_I'm awoken by an explosion.

Does anyone else find it sad that I'm used to this?

I shrug it off and close my eyes.

"Miku! Get up, bitch!" Hidan shakes me violently.

"Ow! What? What do you want!" I pull myslef from his grip.

"We're under attack, get up!"

"O-Oh..." I wipe the sleep from my eyes and slip on some shoes. "C'mon Saki."

Saki pulls on his shoes also, and runs out the door with me.

I get some weird looks as I come outside still in PJ's.

"Where'd you get those?" Tori questions. "Where did you get Akatsuki pajama's!"

"INternet." I strap on my ninja pouch and strap my sword to my back. "Now stop yelling, my head hurts."

I stare at the unfamiliar enemy.

"Whoes that?" I point at the hooded figures.

"As far as we know, I.U. and his troops." Konan explains.

"I.U?"

She replies with a shrug.

The enemy pauses to stare at my morning look.

"Stop staring, ok! I had a late night!" I snap.

"You three, retreat." Pein instructs.

"What, why?" I growl. "I'm perfectly able to fight!"

"Oh I know you can fight," He retorts. "I just don't wanna hear you bitch about how your favorite PJ's were ruined."

"..." I turn on my heel and lead the way. "This isn't over."

* * *

"We're pretty far don'tcha think?" Kristen complains. "I'm tired of walking."

"I'm just making sure, ok?" I grouch. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep. Do _not , _under _any circumstance, **wake me up.**_"

They shrink away from my scary face, "Y-Yeah, ok."

"Mommy's scary.." Saki whimpers, hiding behind my two friends.

**Saki's P.O.V**

Things were fine, for like, 5 minutes.

Then those guys in hoods suronded us.

Kristen freaks out, "MI-"

"SHH! Do you want to die at the hands of Mother Miku!" Tori quickly covers her mouth.

"Mother Miku?"

"Yep."

There were only two guys, each with a white hood.

"Uso-Tsuki." The one on the left chuckles. "Can you believe how easy this is? One of them is even sleeping."

Kristen and Tori pick up Miku and they high-tail it out of there.

I'm stuck in a stare off with the other two guys.

"Sorry Saki!" Kristen comes back and picks me up.

Why are people always carrying me?

"I love a chase." Uso-Tsuki chuckles.

We stop at a dead end(there's a lot of those around here) and stare and face those weirdo's.

Mommy stirs and Kirsten and Tori freeze.

"Cornered like a mouse!" The nameless one grabs me by my hair.

"Mom!" I shreik in pain.

"Shh! PLease don't wake her up!" Kristen pleads.

Uso-Tsuki slaps Momo lightly on her cheek, "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty."

Her eyes fly opens and she glares daggers at the men.

"You..." She's on her feet, holding the (much taller)man by his shirt collar. "You _woke me up_."

Eep.

Her gaze falls on me, and she releases the man.

"Let go. Of Saki."

"He's released Mother Miku." Tori covers her eyes.

[The following scene is censored out for much violence, and dismembering of body parts... scary mommy. O.e]

"Are you ok, Saki?" She kneels to be eye level. "Next time, kick there asses... Just not in my way."

I nod, still shocked from the sight.

"M-Miku... Those guys got away." Kristen calls out, cowering with her back against the wall.

"..." She blinks and turns aroud to stare at her two friends. "Mother. Miku?"

"Miku, we heard screams, un." Deidara comes into the bloody clearing. "What... Happened?"

"They woke me up and hurt Saki." She replies twice as grouchy as before. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Sure."

* * *

**I.U glares at his beaten bloody subordinates.**

**"Your saying. You got your ass kicked by ONE little girl?" He growls.**

**"She was a vicious girl," Gomon protests. "And not much of a morning person."**

**"The thing that set her off was when she saw that carrot-topped brat." Uso-Tsuki replies.**

**"Oh... Seems more than just two of my subordinates failed to complete my mission." I.U narrows his eyes. "Sairento. No'ko. Weren't you suppose to kill that child."**

**"We did, I.U-sama." No'ko nods eagerly, her long hair bouncing out of place.**

**"Then who is this?" I.U presses a button and a screen comes to life.**

**The screen shows a carrot-topped boy playing a game of Tag with a few older girls and boys.**

**"That's..." No'Ko stares in disbelief at the screen. "W...We thought it would die by itself."**

**"Not we." Sairento speaks up. "I gave you the job of killing it."**

**"I'm not totally heartless!"**

**"Shut up, both of you!" I.U interupts the arguement. "It seems the only one to complete his mission with ease was Chi."**

**There's a few grumbles of jealousy.**

**"Himitsu, your next."**

**"So, what about the girl? Mother Miku, right?" Shain asks.**

**"We will deal with her later." I.U replies. "She dosen't pose much of a threat... except to two unnamed members."**

**"That... That girl looks familiar." Fukushu mutters, staring at the screen. "I can't put my finger on it though."**

**"Forge about it." Shain chuckles. "You think to much!"**

* * *

****"Base, sweet base!" Miku holds her arms out as if to hug the building.

"You get to attached to things." Kristen mutters.

"Your mom!"

"Your dad!"

"Your granny!"

"Your evil orgnaization!"

"..." Miku rolls her eyes and enters the base. "Meany..."

* * *

**Authors note time! Hahaha! So, can you guess what's gonna happen next? Prob not.**

*******=I.U**

*******=Uso-Tsuki**(liar)

*******=Gomen**(tortured)

*******=No'ko**(child)

*******=Sairento**(silent)

*******=Chi**(blood)

*******=Himitsu**(secret)

*******=Shain**(shiny)

*******=Fukushu**(revenge)


	8. Chapter 8

Running low on comebacks for my fight with Hidan.

I pause as it's my turn.

"Hater!"

"That's the best you got, bitch?" Hidan retorts.

"Haters wanna blow Kirby!"

"WHAT!"

I laugh and go bug Leader and Konan.

"My two love birds, where are you?" I call into the meeting room. "Are you in the library?" I check the library. "Are you at the training grounds?" I check the training grounds.

Eventualy, I just give up and go get a snack.

"Miku stole the cookies from the cookie jar!" Kristen points.

I munch on my cookie, "Who? Me?"

"Yes! You!"

"Couldn't be." I wipe crumbs form my face.

"But you'ev got the cookie in your hand!"

"..." I finish off the cookie. "No I don't."

"LIES!"

Just then, Pein and Konan walk in soaked to the bone in rain.

"Ooo, kinky!" I tease. "Getting it on in the rain!"

I get some acoompanied laughter from Tobi, Deidara, Zetsu, Sasori, and Kisame.

Konan narrows her eyes and blushes at the same time, "For the last time." She says in an even voice. "Me and Leader aren't in a relationship."

"Are you sure?" I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively.

"Yes I'm sure!"

I laugh and grab another cookie from the jar, "I'm just messing with you, Konan-chan!"

Konan rolls her eyes and pouts.

"MOMMY!" Akemi runs into the room, Hidan chasing angrily after him.

"Hidan!" I weild a spoon. "I will shank you with this spork if you don't stop chasing Akemi!"

"WHAT THE FUCK WILL A SPOON DO!" Hidan roars, now after me.

I shove the spoon into his stomach and he collapses on the ground.

"Spoon power." I chuckle. "Can't be beat."

"Bitch."

"Damn right."

"What's going on! Miku is admitting something!" Tori gasps.

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"Yeah! You did! Just now!"

"STFU!"

"You guys are INSANE." Kristen comments.

"YOUR MOM!" Tori throws teh couch pillow at her.

I duck under the table and let them fight it out.

They finish up in about 3 minutes.

"You guys's fights are BORING." I groan. "Let's go set off Hidan and Kakuzu."

"Well excuse me for not being able to fight like a ninja." Tori rubs her bruised cheek.

I take Hidan's scythe and stick it in Kakuzu's room, then take a big stack of money from Kakuzu's room and put it in Hidan's room. Both in plain sight.

"And let the fun begin." I chuckle darkly, nomming on popcorn.

Being the non-ninja's they are, Kristen and Tori hid behind me.

"You guys are such babies." I comment.

* * *

I duck under the bed and hide from the zombie bro's.

I hear my name called followed by many profanities.

I crawl out and hide in the kitchen, looking around carefully.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Hidan roars.

"PEIN!" I jump into the carrot tops arms. "SAVE ME!"

"Pansy."

"Miku. Get off. Right now." Pein growls.

"No." I pout. "Your an excelent sheild."

He drops my on my butt and walks away.

I rub it grumbling prfanaties at the so-called leader.

"Heh," Hidan saunters up to me.

I dash between his legs and jump into Tobi's arms, "SAVE ME TOBI!"

Pause.

Hidan bursts out laughing at my fail attempt to protect myself.

"Shut up!" I throw my shoe at him and walk into the living room. "What's on?"

"Reruns, as always, un." Deidara mutters.

"Uuuuuugh, this is worse than MY world!"

I stare at the kunai commercial for the millionth time, then throw the remite at the indestructable TV.

It changes channels and we end up watching the news.

"Oh goody. We're on the news." Kristen mutters sarcastically. "Again."

"OH looky! Our black market scheme, Miku!" Tori points and laughs.

"Awesomeness!"

We watch as they do the description sketch.

"Well, one wore an Akatsuki cloak and had orange hair with brown skin, her hair was long and curly, pulle dinto a ponytail."

The sketch of "me" is on screen.

"That looks nothing like me!" I yell at the TV. "Ar ethey calling me fat or something!"

"Maybe." Sasori shrugs.

"You don't tell a girl she's fat!"

* * *

*******=I.U**

*******=Uso-Tsuki**(liar)

*******=Gomen**(tortured)

*******=No'ko**(child)

*******=Sairento**(silent)

*******=Chi**(blood)

*******=Himitsu**(secret)

*******=Shain**(shiny)

*******=Fukushu**(revenge)


	9. Chapter 9

"IT'S SINGING TIME BIATCH!" Tori roars, pulling out some Vocoloid-style head phones.

"Biatch is a rude word too!" I snap back.

"YOU USE IT MORE THAN ME!"

"..."

"..."

"Touche."

"Touche?"

"Touche!"

"GET OUT MY EPISODE, IRUKA!" Kristen shouts from down the hall.

I fall back on the couch, laughing my ass off.

I notice Pein and Konan twitch at her Iruka comment, which makes no sense, since he's not a major character. Actually, was he even IN Shippuden?

"Quit changing the subject." Tori hits me over the head.

I groan and pull on the headphones, Kristen turning on the auto tune stuffies.

Me and Tori stand in front of the guys(there's nowhere else to go) and sing a tribute song to them(they don't know that... yet).

"This is so going on Youtube, un." Deidara sends a smirk Kristen's way, pulling out a video camera.

We end up singing Fashion by lady Gaga**[A/N: You all know I'm to lazy to find the lyrics]**

"Priceless." Hidan sniggers.

"Do not insult our fashion!" Tori stomps her foot childlishly.

"Bleeeh." I roll my eyes back and zombie walk. "The Lady Gaga... It _brainwashes!"_

"Oh puh-lease, she's like Madonna's replacement." Kristen scoffs.

"Stop insulting Lady gaga!" Tori whines.

"MAKE ME!"

"SEXY GRANDPA TIME!" I prevent a fight from breaking out.

"...Whut...?" The Akatsuki stare at me.

"Inside joke, guys! God! You guys barely found out what Youtube was!"

"So, what's you guys' favorite things about Youtube?" Itachi asks.

"He spoke! _Again!_" I squeal.

"Well, we mostly watch Akatsuki-tributes, because the music is just effing awesome." Tori explains.

"Oh... Cool."

"TOBI WANTS TO SEE SOME AKATSUKI... uh... Fandom right?"

"Well Tobi, we could if Miku would just get us a _laptop_." Kristen glowers.

"FINE! But only cause I wanna torture them with the awesomeness of fandom!" I snap, scrambling into the fish tank.

"Haha, I'll never get over that."

**Tori's P.O.V**

I follow the scent of candy, only to find myself in Tobi's room.

"Oh c'mon... This is the only area with candy?" I knit my eye brows together in confusion.

I've been a bit wary of leaving the base ever since the "Mother Miku" incident. Hmph... Another criminal organization? That's to cool! I wonder if they're hot? OHHH! I wonder who their leader is? Is he as hot as PEIN? But no, I couldn't steal Pein from Kristen and Miku! Hmm... Maybe we can share.

"Tori-chan? Why're you in Tobi's room?" A voice says from behind me.

...

"AHHHH!" I whip arounjd and throw and beat the masked man with a pillow. "DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!"

"Ack! TOBI'S SORRY!"

"TOBI BETTER BE SORRY! YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!" I throw the pillow aside. "I'M NOT KAKUZU!"

"TOBI THINKS THAT WOULD BE WEIRD IF YOU HAD A BUNCHA TENTACLES COMING OUT OF YOU!"

"I'D PROBABLY ABUSE THE TENTACLES POWER! DON'T GIVE ME ANY IDEAS!"

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

I go into a coughing fit from yelling so much and Tobi pats my back... So thoughtful! NOT. He's the reason some of the most awesome characters die!

WAAHH! KONAN!

"Tori-chan! Why do you look so worried!" Tobi waves his hand in my face.

"..." I take a few steps back. "Shh, if Miku and Krisen see us-"

"OMMGGG!" Miku pops her head in, clutching the laptop.

"AHH! IT'S TOBIXTORI!"

"Hahaha, Toto would be their pairing name."

"It could always be TobTor."

"Or something else."

"SHHH!"

Miku rubs her now bruised head and squeaks, "I meant something like different ways to mark pairings. Like... TxT or... Tobori."

"Haha, Tobori... Let's go with that!"

Miku leans next to Kristen's ear and whispers what I'm guessing was her idea's for Madara and me pairings.

_MadaTor, Madori, Torada, MXT... Ugh, now they've got me on it._

"Oh yeah! What about... about..." I cross my arms and exit the room. "DeiMiku! Or! ItaMIku! Or SasuMiku! Or KisaMiku! Or ZETMIKU!"

"Why are you only abusing me!" Miku shreiks, turning as red as she could get.

"OH yeah! And they're's, SasoKris, PeiKris, TobiKris-"

"OH NO YOU DID NOT PAIR ME WITH HIM!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!"

"FANDOM TIIIME~!" Miku yells, bringing everyone to the living room where she hooks up a crod to the TV.

Everyone sit son random chairs(or on the floor in Miku's case) and stares at the TV intently.

"So... What do you wanna see first?" Miku waits for her homepage to load. "Art, Video, or Stories?"

"Art, un!" Deidara cheers.

"Video's." Itachi counters.

"Art, un!"

"Videos."

"Art, un."

"Art."

"Videos un, and that's final!"

"OK, videos it is then." Miku laughs.

"Someone got bugs bunny'd." I tease the pissed off blonde.

Miku logs onto her Youtube account and goes to her playlists, "Akatsuki or Konoha videos?"

There's a unaminous agreement of Akatsuki.

Miku clicks on the Akatsuki Fan Flash playlist and lets it play through.

_Tobi yells Deidara's name and gets blown up, interlude, then Kisame on screen singing Blue! Haha! More interlude! Then **Akatsuki Hamsters!**_

"Next video!" Miku grunts, unsatisfied with the reactions.

_Sasuke cuddling panda bears, Tobi singing caramelldansen, Hidan and some western music, Deidara singing a odd version of **What you do to me.**__Itachi singing "Thanks for the memories" to Sasuke. Pein and Konan singing "Don't Go breaking My Heart". lol. Then Hidan and Kakuzu singing it. _

"My god! Where's the reactions!" I shout at teh Akatsuki. "Don't make me bring out the Rated M stuff already!"

_Cartoon Hero's plays on screen, Akatsuki singing a long, Shika-kun sleeping, Kisame singing some more Blue. Itachi his girlfriend. Deidara and Itachui singing along to Donctha. Some OroSasu action, but not much LOL. Sasuke being emo._

"Oh HELL no." Miku clicks the search bar and searches "Akatsuki fan flash" and clicks the first one to catch her intrest.

_Deidara doing the opening wit some bouncy music, the title on screen. Itachi singing gay bar. Pein singing and Konan wishing he wasn't. Hidan singign some rape song about sucking dicks. Itachi singign Gay bar to Deidara. Tobi singing shoot the zombies. Pein stuck in a tree and falling out. Sauske trying to PWN Pein and failing. Itachi-seizure wARNING OF "yOU lACK hATRED" then singing that Leek-spinning song._

"Ok, Youtube has officialy let me down. All these non-scarring video's!" Miku deciedes to go to DevianART and looks to me and Kristen for search suggestions.

"Search Akatsuki Yaoi!" Kristen cheers, having one of her brave moments.

"Wait! We need protection!" I shout.

We all wrap ourselves in pillows and get away from the Akatsuki members kick-hit-maime-zone.

Miku does as she's told and clicks enter, selecting the first picture.

It was a Chart of Yaoiism! And Miku deciedes to read the words alloud for all the understand(she has this feeling Tobi can't read).

"Itachi's almost everyone's bitch, so is Deidara! Sasori is always paired with Deidara! Pein rapes random Akatsuki members, and Hidan is Kakuzu's bitch! Heheh! Zetsu as Kisame's bitch, Kakzuzu is no one's bicth, EVER and Tobi is somewhere in between!" She explains, ignoring all protests, and moving to the next picture, making sure to take off the mature content feature.

The next is a page of ItaDei doujinshi that Miku dosen't bother to read(though she does make the sound effects).

Kristen reads it, ignoring Ita/Dei death glares.

Actually, the next few pages were ItaDei doujinshi, which my friends gladly read and made sounds for! And, Pein and Konan were either pissed or embarresed when they came into the story(Konan turning into a boy and having her brains fucked out by Pein).

Finally, something other than ItaDei comes on: Orochimaru talking to "Leader" about rejoining the Akatsuki and promising _not to touch Itachi._

I HAVE to start laughing then, I just couldn't hold it in anymore while looking at Itachi's disturbed face.

"Ok, Akatsuki yaoi is to vauge girls! Gimme a pairing!" Miku laughs like a maniac.

"KISAITA!" Kristen does a small cheer.

"Okey doke!"

...

"MY EYES!" Itachi covers his eyes. "I'VE GONE BLIND!"

Miku pulls a poker face(which is hard for her to do) and says, "There's worse pairings, ya know."

She searches Uchihacest, and Itachi just about DIES.

"i-I woould NEVER EVER do ANY of that stuff to Sasuke!" Itachi shudders.

"I think you guys look kidna cute, un." Deidara teases.

"What about this Furball, eh!" Itachi snaps his fingers.

"Oh yeah! SasoDei action!" I cheer as Miku types it in.

"YUCK! That is just YUCK!" Sasori shrieks.

"Well, you look like your enjoying it." I gesture to the picture.

"I'm gonna be sick, un." Deidara shudders.

"I wonder if you ever got a splinter?" Kristen jokes. "KakuHida time!"

"YOSH! I WAS JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO OFFER IT!" Miku cheers, eagerly typing it in.

After much cursing and jokes of Kakuzu's tentacles, all attention is turned on Leader.

"What about our bitch leader, eh!" Hidan growls out.

Which is when Miku notices Akemi staring at the screen with a VERY disturbed face.

"Awww shit, I forgot he was here." Miku facepalms. "To late now."

Akemi sits next to her and cocks his eye brow, "How come Hidan and Kakuzu are-"

"SHUT UP BRAT!" The zombie bro's roar.

"But seriously, whoes Leader mostly paired with, un?" Deidara glares, his hand inching towards his clay pouch. "Show us."

"Err..." Me and teh girls share a look. "In hindsight, we probably should've seen this coming."

Miku sucks in a deep breath, "Let's just suck it up, and hope we can run fast... And possibly skip a few days of sleep."

"Your gonna have to go to Google." Kristen points out. "I've realized that your not old enough to turn the mature content filter off. And... Yeah."

I groan and glance back at the two sole leaders of the Akatsuki, fear flooding my mind... Mother Miku'd protect us, right?

Miku quickly types in _MadaPein _the most known yaoi-Pein pairing, next to Itachi, of course.

Miku tries to make it seem like the other pairings, "Heh, I think this is the _only _Pein pairing where he's uke!"

"Miku..." Kristen facepalms.

"I know I know, I shoudln't even try."

"Mommy! Since when is Pein and Tobi _GAY!_" Akemi exclaims, eyes bugging out.

Well, that just sets Miku off into a fit of laughter.

"And why is Pein on the bottom and _enjoying it! _I thought you said he topped all!"

There goes Kristen.

"But seriously, that looks like that hurts." Akemi turns to Pein. "Does it hurt when Tobi sticks his thing up your ass?"

And there goes me too.

The two leaders were literally shaking with anger.

"Er... WAIT, UN!" Deidara's eye widen. "You mean THAT IDIOT is an UCHIHA, un!"

The 3 of us girls were literally rolling around on the floor at Akemi's naive-ity, said boy staring at us like we're crazy.

"Oh man, Akemi! Please! Stop t-t-t-talking!" Miku says between laughs. "Your killing me! I'm dying!"

"But mommy! I'm confused!"

"Ah crap, we're gonna die." Kristen pouts.

"Why?"

"Cause your Mommy and your Aunties are pshyco!" I climb to my feet, fighting off the last of the giggles.

* * *

_**"Let me outta here!"**_

_**"Oh shut up, woman."**_

_**"Just you wait to the girls and Pein find you!"**_

_**"Heh, your loevly Pein won't be here for you... He's a bit... Small."**_

_**"What the hell does that mean! I know from Miku's mouth that he's not small! ...Damn that girls a pervert."**_

_**"I can't believe that just came out your mouth."**_

_**"Heh, neither can I, must be the stuffy room. Can I get some fresh air?"**_

_**"Nice try."**_

_**"Damn."**_

* * *

**Just thought I'd give you a few hints. The name if their evil group is: Yami fōruzu, literally meaning Darkness Falls.**

**I***A=I.U**

**K***O=Uso-Tsuki**(liar)

**S***E=Gomen**(tortured)

**R***N=No'ko**(child)

**H***U=Sairento**(silent)

**K***A=Chi**(blood)

**K***U=Himitsu**(secret)

**N***O=Shain**(shiny)

**F***N=Fukushu**(revenge)


End file.
